Judging Others

Written by: T.Sultan

Featured in: Al-Nur Newsletter (An Islamic Publication at my University) – Nov 14th

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Have you ever felt judged by another person? Why do you think people judge others? Or here’s a better question to think about, to truly bring it home: Have you ever felt judged by the brothers and sisters who make up the MSA/MWM here?

Are you someone who does not participate in the MSA or MWM at all because of the fear of being judged? Well guess what, you are not alone. Over the years, many students, and even the MOST active MSA/MWM brothers and sisters that you see around you today have had this thought cross their mind. The fear of being judged has at one point in time or another restrained them from getting to know the people in the MSA/MWM. It suffocated them to the point that they just didn’t show up to pray in the Musallah, to an MSA/MWM event, or anything but jummah, or even worse, not even jummah on Fridays where the entire community comes together.

Why am I bringing this up? For two reasons:

1) It’s time to be honest and direct. This topic isn’t something that needs to go under the musallah rug. We all have felt the implications of judging others or being judged ourselves. It’s something real that is happening everyday.

2) On Friday October 17^th, we had, I believe, one of the most memorable/mucho amazing/supercool General Body Meetings ever! What was the topic, simple – judging others and our perception of others. Who were the speakers involved in the discussion? – every single student present in the Musallah (like 40+ people!).

Sister Eman led the discussion and asked everyone present: ‘If there is anything you can say to the world about this topic (of judging others ) what would it be?

In no particular order, here is what everyone had to say –

“Just be yourself.”

“Give people the benefit of the doubt and be blessed that Allah (swt) is making you a mechanism of guidance… ”

Don’t “criticize what Allah created, we have no right to do that”

“..Everyone’s at a different point in their Deen. Try to get to know someone better…where you are at is because of Allah.”

“Embrace those around you!”

“It’s okay to agree to disagree, but don’t ever change your personality.”

“Only the action needs to be corrected if you see something that someone is doing wrong. It’s not the person themselves.”

“It’s all about intention.”

“Act like you don’t know something is wrong and guide the other person to come to the understanding themselves that what they are doing is wrong.”

“Put weight into your words.”

“..Be humble, it’s a mercy from Allah (swt) that you stay away from doing wrong… You don’t do this on your own.”

“Be easy on others.”

“..be open and fix your own flaws before approaching those around you.”

“…don’t bash people in public…stand up for one another.”

“Islam is different for everyone and everyone’s at different levels.”

“Be positive, be a role model, and beat people back with positivity.”

“Always strive to make yourself and those around you better people.”

“It’s okay to be different.”

“..We see that religious people judge those of us that are less-religious, but we need to understand that it goes both ways, those that are less-religious also judge those who are more religious…”

“Build relationships; get to know those around you.”

“..don’t approach someone with advice if you really don’t know them.”

“..Don’t let others ignorance get to you.”

“Always evaluate yourself and watch what you say.”

“…Make D’ua for someone you judge.”

“..Think about how far your actions can go. You don’t know where the other person is coming from, you don’t know if someone else treated them badly before you. Everyone’s different, you need to accept that.“

“Self confidence is key! Be confident in yourself and in your heart, the world will respect you and accept you for it.”

“Fear Allah!”

“..don’t be in a situation where you will be judged by the group you are with.”

“We are still responsible for ourselves… Appearances are important… Don’t give another a reason to judge you in a bad way.”

“..Be diplomatic… make people feel comfortable and be sincere”

“…We all come from different backgrounds. We need to be fair to all newcomers… Don’t judge a sister not wearing Hijab.”

“People like to be nurtured… if you don’t know somebody don’t confront them… always strive to build a relationship before judging others.”

“Actively search for what is right…don’t throw judgments at others without being 100% convinced, we will be accountable for everything we say…”

“We fear being judged because we know we judge others.”

(For the most part, each quote above is from a different person that was present.)

The MSA/MWM is not just about a few people. A few people do not, and should not, define the culture of the MSA/MWM in it’s entirety. The MSA/MWM here is about all of us. It’s about the community. And we want the community to be diverse and full of people with different perspectives, personalities and people that come from all walks of life.

If you feel that the MSA/MWM is too conservative or just not a place where you can fit in – then guess what – we NEED you! We need you to change that. We need you to start changing the culture for the better. We need your awesomeness, your personality and we need you to just be yourself.

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FYI:

MSA- Muslim Students Association

MWM - Muslim Women
Artwork by: tsultan

About Al-Nur Newsletter/ “Being a Healthy Muslim”

My First Submission to the Al-Nur Newsletter (a bi-weekly Islamic Publication at my University)

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Al- Nur Newsletter

T. Sultan

Being a Healthy Muslim

April 24, 2008

Your throat starts to feel sore, your coughing, and you get a few chills. The last place you want to be is sitting in a lecture hall when you could be in bed at home. When you are sick what is the first thing that comes into your mind? A doctor? or Allah (swt)? How do we, as Muslims, approach our health and taking care of ourselves? How are we different from non-Muslims?

On April 3^rd, Dr.Khawaja, a private practitioner from the local area, came in to talk to the Sisters about Islam and Healing. She made some very good points on the differences between being a Muslim and Non-Muslim when it comes to practicing medicine and keeping ourselves healthy.

First, if we want to be healthy we need to understand that in maintaining our health we need to aspire to be whole. We need to incorporate the idea of ‘tawheed’ or oneness within ourselves. There are three levels to our being: the body, the mind, and the spirit. In order to achieve a sense of wholeness or ‘tawheed’ these three levels must be in harmony. As Muslims, the best possible way to reach harmony is by practicing Islam. Islam is like a medicine. The message that the Prophets told their people was healing at all levels. As individuals who have been blessed with guidance from Allah (swt) it is also mandatory for us to keep ourselves clean and to be in a state of purity when praying. This actually prevents a lot of diseases or illnesses. It’s satisfying to know that we are already on the path to being as healthy as we possibly can be by just practicing Islam and being Muslim.

When you get sick, do you complain? Complaining usually gets us nowhere. Instead of complaining, contemplate. At the sister’s halaqah, Dr. Khawaja shed some light on the ‘simplicity of contemplating’. And when I thought about it in depth and realized its importance I was amazed. Islam is all about thinking and reflecting. When it comes to our health we should also incorporate this same concept. Contemplate upon the reasons why you may have an illness. Allah (swt) is all-knowing; he may have challenged a person with sickness to correct something about them, it may be to remove sins, or just be a test, etc. We can only guess. Contemplating and reflecting is personal and inshallah it will draw one to figure out the cause and the truth. Thus they can be better prepared to address the illness and start to take action to heal in the most effective way.

Second, to be healthy we need to be fully aware of what we are eating. As Muslims we have a very high level of awareness. Islam sets the principles for what is good for us and what is not. Striving to eat foods that are pure actually helps to protect us from a number of illnesses and diseases. One thing that we need to refrain from eating a lot of is fast food. Everyone knows that it is not healthy. I mean 99 cent fries are hardly worth it. There’s a saying that “haste is waste”. So be careful about always eating on the go. I know fast food is sometimes hard to avoid; so start small and make gradual changes to your diet. Also, how many people today actually have breakfast in the morning? Enjoying a healthy breakfast is good for us; it’s just that simple. I’m sure you are aware that ‘breakfast’ also means ‘break’- ‘fast’. After sleeping for several hours we need to fuel our bodies with a healthy breakfast so that we are ready to take on the day. And many studies have been done that shows having a nutritious breakfast in the morning leads to doing well in school.

Finally, a very important concept to understand is that our body is very intelligent; every cell in our body knows their creator, Allah (swt). Allah (swt) is the one who created us (and any sickness that we may be challenged with), therefore he knows best what we need to cure an illness. He is all merciful and the best of providers. He didn’t make the means to cure oneself difficult. Therefore, we need to think twice before we take any sort of man-made medicines – whether they are over the counter or prescription based. Today’s medicine is all about symptom relief. Most people just take a pill to deal with any discomfort or pain. They don’t bother reflecting on the reasons why they may be sick. Taking medication to solve sickness doesn’t help us become healthy. We need to eat right and do many other things to make our bodies stronger. The compounds that are used to make the medication are not stable, therefore they don’t really help us to heal properly. What I mean is that Allah (swt) creates every particle in the world with the characteristic of stability. Therefore, by taking pills made of unstable compounds. What are we doing? We are hurting our health. Instead, one should resort to more traditional practices, full of wisdom, that have proven to be successful cures, if they are in search of healing. For example, what should one do if they have a fever. Drink lots of water, of course; it helps to cool down the body. Looking for alternatives to man-made medication is much better for our health. Allah (swt) created a lot of things in nature that can help us to heal and cure ourselves.

We may skip breakfast from time to time and have foods that are unhealthy, but we need to realize that as Muslims, we are obligated to take care of ourselves in the best possible way.